i think one thing that has kept me semi-sane through my years of diet and exercise ups and downs is that my goals have never been unrealistic.  i knew growing up that i was built a little (or a lot) bigger than my friends.  it was definitely hard going through high school and your 3 best friends are 5’2″-5’3″ and 100-115 pounds.  i always kept in the back of my mind that i was never meant to be that small.

to this day, when i’m scrolling through pinterest and i see these tiny women  with not much muscle definition pinned into “motivation” or “inspiration” boards, it makes me kind of sad.  sad, that something like that is envied by so many people.

i wanted to share my three, main, inspiration pictures.  i think these women are beautiful and i hope that i can get down to a size around them and be confident in myself.  i would hope that if i can look like that, i could be happy with what i see in the mirror, which is something i haven’t been able to do in a longggg time.

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as you can see, i’m not hoping for a supermodel body.  i think i could be very comfortable with myself in a size 10-12 (maybe?) and around 165-170 pounds.  the only reason that number sticks with me, is because when i lost a lot of weight in middle/high school (yes, that long ago), i got down to 177 pounds and i was very confident in myself.  i will always be able to reassess that goal once i get around those numbers, i just hope to get there someday.

in other news, i took a break from clean eating this weekend and enjoyed myself at the bbq with friends and family, followed by hibatchi sunday night (no rice), and my body is feeling the effects today.  i’m bloated, tired, and dehydrated!  i’m chugging down my water and made sure my meals were simple and light today, in hopes to return to normalcy as soon as possible.  i don’t regret a single piece of food i ate, because i don’t want to feel restricted, but my body is begging for clean eating, so that is what i’ll give it.  i also put in a good workout saturday morning, knowing i would indulge later that day.

that’s all i have for you guys today! hope you have a great monday! i’ll leave you with a scene from the weekend.. a very lazy sunday:

Q: how was yall’s weekend?  anything fun and exciting?