ollie marie boutique!

heyyyyy guys! remember me?  probably not, but I MEAN IT when i say i want to get into a better habit of blogging over here!  my memory is going quick because pregnancy brain is real and spousal pregnancy hormones are WAY too real. i swear i’ve forgotten more things in the last 8.5 months than i have my entire life!  BUT ANYWAYS, enough about me and more about clothes!

so, if you follow me on instagram (thesweatybetty), you have probably noticed that with my weight loss came a new confidence and a love for shopping.  i love that i feel so comfortable in my skin now and that i can feel confident in most clothes. BUT, this has also been a huge change on my spending. it’s REALLY weird going from shopping out of necessity about twice a year, to stopping in stores and grabbing something once a week! so, while i would love to buy ALL THE CLOTHES, i obviously try to keep my spending in check, especially with a little one on the way! i’ve come to love target, old navy, and now ollie marie boutique!

ollie marie

i had beenfollowing skinny meg for awhile and kept noticing that she was posting the most adorable outfits.  finally, i looked into her boutique and fell in love with just about everything! shipping is always free (and FAST!) and the prices are right in the range of what i like to spend.  plus, all the clothing is quality material!  i’ve had no complaints with any of the items yet!!

ollie marie 4

shadow of a doubt cardigan

ollie marie 2

side strip tunic

ollie marie 1line up shirt

ollie marie 3distressed skinny jeans – dark wash

megan was kind enough to extend a coupon code (which i’ve been getting a lot of use out of, too) to all of my blog readers!  using the code “sweatybetty” at checkout gets you 20% off your entire purchase and you can use it more than once! if you get anything, and use my code, tag me in your outfit!  i love to see what people are buying!

that’s all for now!  i had been meaning to post about this for awhile and just now got around to it.  i also have a nursery update, baby shower update, AND hello fresh review that i will be posting about soon!

happy friday and have a great weekend!

Q: are you a shopper?  where are your favorite places to shop?

disclaimer: i was sent a few items by ollie marie boutique in return for an honest review on my instagram/blog. i have continued to purchase items on my own, two of which are pictured above.  all opinions are my own.

baby post: gender reveal and nursery planning

hey guys!  last time we talked, i gave you a brief life update on life, baby, and weight loss. today is going to be very BABY focused!

gender reveal:

so tuesday afternoon, we headed to a 3rd party ultrasound facility to get a gender scan and 3D/4D ultrasound.  we announced before that we wanted the gender to be a secret, so the tech found out the sex privately, then turned on the screen to let us see our sweet little baby!  the ultrasound lasted about 10 minutes and baby wasn’t very active and seemed to be sleeping, so it wasn’t very eventful!

we handed the envelope, sealed by the facility, to barbara’s friend, and from there she planned a small gender reveal party based on the what was in the envelope!

here’s a quick background on me.  I HATE SURPRISES.  like, barbara has rarely gotten a gift on christmas, because i always make her open them early.  so this two days was TORTURE.

we were totally sure torin was a boy.  barbara had a dream and i had a hunch.  even a girl at barbara’s office, who has never guessed a gender wrong, guessed boy.  WE WERE CONVINCED!

so, thursday rolled around, nothing was achieved at work because all i could think of was the balloons flying out of the box, and then we arrived at the location to get some pictures taken by a friend.  they turned out amazing and i cannot wait to see the entire set!  at 7:30pm, everyone had arrived, so we quickly took the ‘team pink’ and ‘team blue’ photos, then opened the box.  this is where i got a very strong feeling.. as soon as i started to rip back the tape on the box, i KNEW the balloons were going to be PINK. and guess what, THEY WERE!  so, thursday night, we were able to announce the arrival of Torin Kenley Mullins.

balloons

torin was a name we’ve loved for YEARS.  we were watching winter x-games, and a men’s skier came on with the name torin.  we both fell in love and knew that it would be our first child’s name, regardless of gender.  we think girls with masculine or just gender-neutral names are the cutest, so it worked out great.  kenley, is derived from kenneth, barbara’s dad’s middle name.  he’s doing a great job at battling stage 4 prostate and bone cancer and we knew he deserved a little tribute. THEN, on the way to dinner that night, barbara mentioned maybe adding a 2nd middle name.. she has 2 middle names “anne” and “jacqueline”  and wanted to be able to show her mom a tribute, so we added “annette” , her mom’s middle name, to torin kenley.  SO, our sweet baby’s name is torin kenley annette mullins.  i think for the most part, she will just be torin and torin kenley when i yell at her as she gets older and into things 🙂

now for the fun stuff!  nursery planning(!!!):

we knew if we were going to have a girl, we wanted pink and sparkles and all that jazz.  now it was just narrowing down how to mesh all that together.  after a quick search into pinterest, i found our colors: pink, peach, gold, and sea foam.  on top of that, i wanted to keep some gray in the room and add some floral.

color inspo

after we narrowed down the colors, a few quick pinterest searches later, i found some room inspirations i could play off of!

gray with pink tassles

love the tassels and floral above. (source)

pink gold gray

love the gold decals on the gray wall above.  (the link was broken on pinterest, so no source)

teal tassles modern crib

love the modern crib and teal/blue tassels. (the link was broken on pinterest, so no source)

we knew what crib we wanted thanks to young house love and their researched back in the day. luckily, the crib they bought was still available at walmart, and the price was too good to be true.  we also wanted a simple, clean, white dresser to go with it, so we decided with ikea.  we have the same dresser in our guest bedroom, in gray, so it was an easy decision.

crib

(source)

dresser

(source)

so we had an even BETTER idea of what we wanted at this point.  then it was time to create some kind of inspiration/mood board that we could piece things together to see if they meshed well.  so, here are a few fabric combinations i found via etsy:

fabric

(+ signs | gold deer | polka dots | floral)

and here are a few accessories i thought would mix well with everything:

accessories 1

( cart | dream catcher/mobile | floral deer head )

accessories 2

( storage box | potential dresser pulls | floral print | tassels )

so, that’s where my head is going with the nursery.  first thing we have to do it rip up and replace the carpet in the room and rip up the carpert in the hallway and put wood floors down.  the previous owner’s dog wreaked HAVOC on the carpet upstairs.  we also want to change out the ceiling fan with something a little more modern and replace the fire detector with a new Nest one.  yikes, so much to do before january!  i know once we have everything, it’ll come together quick, but its rounding everything up and getting those floors laid and walls painted!

a few people had mentioned a ‘virtual baby shower’ and i talked it over with barbara.  we’re overwhelmed with the amount of support we’ve received with this sweet little baby and have decided to try it out!  i’m going to open up a PO Box and will post about all the stuff later in the year.  it’s seriously amazing to see how much people want to support us, and it doesn’t go unnoticed, that’s for sure!

details will follow!!  currently, we’re registered at babylistregistry.com & babies r us!

hope everyone has a great week!  mine’s going to be crazy, so i’m enjoying the slow time, now!

5 months later..

oh hi! remember me? (i feel like i always start blog posts like this because i’m awful at checking in)

lets catch up, shall we?

work: work has been k i l l i n g me, lately.  i knew my promotion to budget accountant was going to be a big step, but i didn’t realize QUITE how much more work was going to involved.  in the last 4 months, i’ve been working weekends, anywhere from 6am-6/7pm, coming home, eating dinner, then working some more.  its been stressful, but the brunt of the work is over, for awhile at least, so i’m breathing easy and trying to take some days off for mental health.

personal life: did i mention i’m gonna be a momma?  EEEEEEEK!  i want to scream i’m so happy! barbara was officially 15 weeks pregnant this past saturday! she has a little bump and its the cutest thing i’ve ever seen.  i even got to feel a few flutters saturday night!  her first trimester was KILLER.  she had all-day sickness (not just morning) and had tons of food aversions.  no weird cravings as of yet, really.  the second trimester has been going good, so far!  shes tired a lot, but i don’t blame her, SHE’S GROWING A HUMAN.  she said the baby hates showers (he/she starts to kick and move around a lot as soon as the water hits her belly) and LOVES dessert 🙂 we already have names picked out, the initials will be T K M regardless of gender, and we’re using the same first name either way, just the middle name will change.  our next appointment is august 10th, so hopefully we will find out the sex of the baby then!  her due date is january 16, 2016 which is only a few days before her birthday on the 22nd!

also, i always thought it was so annoying when people would say they were “however many weeks pregnant” because then i would have to sit there and figure out how many months, but so much changes week to week, i get it now!  whoops!

baby! baby

 

weight loss/banded life:  weight loss has been sloooooow, which i’m totally OK with since work has been SUPER stressful.  i’d rather maintain than gain, obviously, so the fact that my weight hasn’t changed much is fine with me.  with long work hours, i used the excuse that i was too tired or didn’t have time to workout.. i’m not mad at myself, i just know my body could have been a lot farther than it is right now if i had stuck with it.  my weight fluctuates anywhere from 226-231 depending on the time of day and time of month, currently. but, i have lost a pant size and now wear a size 14! i haven’t been able to say that since high school!  my eating has been less than stellar, but as soon as i ‘slip up’ or let myself indulge, i try to get back on track and start fresh.  i have to say, i’m in SUCH an AMAZING place mentally these days.  my urges to binge have been non-existent lately, even with the life stresses and i think that speaks volumes.  i’m excited at how much progress i’ve made mentally over the last few months, which i think, is even better than the physical.

i had a few issues with my band, which i talked about on instagram a little.  my band was getting to be SO TIGHT that i couldn’t eat real food, only soft food like applesauce and soups/protein shakes. i went to my doctor and had everything checked out.  come to find out, it was just stress that was causing the issues and there was nothing wrong with my actual band placement or anything.  she did take the little-est bit of liquid out just to help with getting food down and i already feel ten times better!

here is an updated before and during:

before and after

 

i’m happy with where i’m at, but i would also like to see what else i can accomplish.  i’m currently considering a whole30 in september just to see how my body reacts without dairy and added/fake sugars, since that’s the only thing that keeps the majority of my diet from being strict paleo/whole30 compliant!  i know quite a few people who have done amazing with the program and seem to really enjoy it, so its a serious possibility.. but… i love cheese. haha

anyways, sorry for being so off and on with this blogging thing!  i’m going to truly make a point to blog at least weekly, even if its just saying hi and sharing some pictures from my day!  i’ll be stopping back in tonight or tomorrow to share a recipe that i plan on making tonight!  so stay tuned!

life update

GUYS! its been too long!

life has been chugging along, some good, some bad, but i’m still focusing on me to make sure i don’t let all of this hard work slip down the drain.

LIFE:

my last post was in NOVEMBER?!  man, the holidays got the best of me.  barbara and i got married, went to mexico, and are now in the process of trying to start our family.  we’ve had some hiccups happen, but its nothing that is going to stop us from bringing a child into this world.

i’m still incredibly terrified of small, ‘fresh’, babies but i know that will change once it is my own child in my hands.

in january, i finally transitioned to my new role as budget accountant.  this transition has been the main reason i’ve been so distant from my blog.  instagramming little bits and pieces of my day is easy, but sitting down and writing a post takes a little more time and effort.  this position definitely has its peaks and valleys as far as work load go, but i love the new work.  i was SO BORED in my other position with all the repetitiveness, and this position switches it up perfectly.

i’m going to chicago next week! its for business (boo), but it’ll be nice to get out and travel some.  hopefully i don’t freeze to death up there!  i think virginia weather has been cold enough it wont be too much of a shock to my system.

LAPBAND:

my lapband is still doing its job!  while i haven’t lost much since november, pounds-wise, my clothes have become a little looser, which is all that matters, right?  i’ve never NOT gained during the holidays, so to maintain was a huge accomplishment in my book, because i will admit: i definitely indulged.

between work stress/working long hours/super emotional personal struggle my band got SO TIGHT 2-3 weeks ago that i had to cut it back to liquids for a few days so my band could take a break.  i was on full liquids (cream soups, yogurts, pudding, broths, etc) for 5 or 6 days, then slowly transitioned back into soft foods, then normal solids.  while it wasn’t the most pleasant situation, it was much needed and i feel a lot better now.

i was suppose to have a fill this monday, but i cancelled the appointment since i’ll be busy at work getting ready for chicago.  i’m not sure if my doctor will give me another fill since my episode, but i guess i’ll see when i go back march 17th.  i haven’t had a fill since august, so too much liquid in my band shouldn’t be the case and most of the time, i don’t feel restriction like i think i need, i just think all of life’s stresses caught up to me and it made for a not so fun band experience.

i’ll keep you all updated on that one!

FOOD:

i’m still low carbing it as of right now, but my body is craving changed. i’ve taken some serious thought into how to make this a smooth transition without my triggers coming back full force. i’ve been considering going back to body-for-life eating (i documented it before) which is basically balanced intake: 40% carbs, 40% protein, 20% healthy fats.  i also want to keep the foods i eat as non-processed as possible, sticking to carbohydrates like sweet potatoes, berries, and things like that. breads and other processed carbs are hard on my digestion.

i know its possible to lose weight while eating carbs, they just scare me.  i don’t even mean that in a joking manner.. i’ve never known how to limit myself on carbs/sugars, which is why low carb usually works for me.  i completely restrict them so im not even tempted to eat them.. but then i get bored.. and eat some dessert.. and you know the drill. i can feel little ‘cheats’ creeping in a little too much which is why i know i need a change.

i’m currently doing an advocare cleanse to give my body a little boost, so i’m going to try to make this transition while cleansing/after the cleanse.  again, i’ll keep you updated!

WORKING OUT:

eh. not much to report on here.. i’ve been attempting but getting 2 days, AT BEST, a week.  i definitely want to get back into the gym more because my body is starting to feel soft, which i hate.  i have a great plan to follow so i just need to get on it!  i didn’t lose 75 lbs to stop at this.  i still have my dream body to sculpt here!

PROGRESS PICTURES:

here’s what about 75lbs down looks like:

photo 1 photo 2

 

i’m feeling better about myself every day and want to continue to do so.  this is the longest i’ve stuck with a weight loss journey and i want to make it work.  i’ve had a lot of curve balls thrown my way recently and i haven’t fallen off track like i normally would, so i’m taking that as a good sign.. and honestly, if i stayed at this weight (230 pounds) for the rest of my life, i wouldn’t be mad.  i love my body right now, i just want it to be a little tighter.  i don’t want abs or a thigh gap or whatever, but i want to be able to lift heavy weights and see some muscle definition in my arms and legs.

 

soooo.. that’s all i have for you today, folks!  hope you enjoyed my update and i hope i wont take so long to post next time!

5 months out

hey there!  worst blogger of the year award goes to me! oh well, just be happy you’re getting a post today, ok 🙂 so! i owe you all a update (if you even care)!

everything is going GREAT!  i honestly have no complaints.  my life has been crazy busy, filled with work, gym, events, weddings, new babies, planning for big thangz in my own life (!!!), so i haven’t had much free time to just hang out and type up a blog post.

so WEIGHT LOSS!  this is a weight loss blog, so i guess i owe you an update on that!  as of the 8th, i’m 5 months post-op from lap-band surgery. i’m currently down 66 lbs and feeling amazing!  for some reason 66 lbs doesn’t feel like a huge loss for me, but i feel so much better physically that it’s crazy!  i can move around so much better, clothes are actually comfortable to wear, and i can actually look at myself in the mirror without being disgusted.

i still want to lose 40-60 more pounds depending on how i look at those 2 stages, and i’ll re-asses my goals when i reach that point.  as i’ve mentioned in the past, i’m not trying to be super skinny, just healthy.  if i get somewhere between 170-200 i’ll be happy.  i still have a stomach pooch, flabby arm skin, and some thigh fat that i’d like to go away, so 40-60 seems like a good number to me.

here is an updated before and after:beforeandafter

lets see, what else.  i’m continuing to use a low carb diet as means of diet.  i’ve incorporated more fats into my diet to help with satiety, and it really seems to be helping.  i’ve done some research on the ketogenic diet and that is basically the plan i am following at this point.  here is the diet explained better than anything i can give you, from this website:

A ketogenic diet is quite simply any diet that forces the body into a process called ketosis, whereby fats are burned instead of carbohydrates for use as energy. A proper ketogenic diet calls for the dieter to consume high amounts of fat, adequate amounts of protein, and very low amounts of carbohydrates. Our bodies are used to turning carbohydrates into glucose to send all over the body as energy. When we enter ketosis by sufficiently limiting our carbohydrate intake, our livers start breaking down fat cells into fatty acids and ketones, to be used as energy.

i enjoy the higher fat aspect, because i can still enjoy some things that i normally wouldn’t on your typical weight loss surgery diet which is low-carb, low fat.  i get to eat avocados, bacon, butter, and all of the macadamia nuts i want (well, within reason) and still lose weight, which is awesome!

i did complete an advocare cleanse, and cut out higher fat foods and dairy for 10 days, which was torture to my cheese loving self, but i did well and lost quite a few inches!  i’m continuing using the MNS products, but it has been a little hard getting the pills in since my last fill. i can take them all, i just have to take them one by one so they don’t get ‘stuck’.  i do find a huge difference in energy when i take them and when i forget to take them, so i’m going to stick with those.

i’ve been really into seafood lately, so tilapia and shrimp have been on the menu quite a few times.  i also found a sweet kale salad at costco that i’m obsessed with, but had to stop using the dressing, because it had too much sugar and kept kicking me out of ketosis.

pistachio crusted tilapia w. sweet kale salad:

tilapia

bbq shrimp & cauliflower ‘grits’:

shrimpngrits

andddd i’ve also had my fair share of ‘treat’ meals.  all along, i’ve mentioned i don’t want this experience to be just like every other attempt at weight loss.  i’m trying to keep myself from binging on everything bad, so when i’m craving something, i’ll let myself have it.  like chips and margaritas!  & ice cream, obviously.

margs

i’m still going to the gym regularly, which is great for me!  i usually go 2-3 months, then get burned out and stop going.  i had a little spout where i didn’t feel motivated, but i pushed through it and i average about 3-4 days in the gym, sometimes 5, but that’s definitely not always the case.  i’m lifting heavy, incorporating a lot of superset/drop sets, and doing SOME cardio. not MUCH, but some!  my workouts have been really intense with the new plan i’m doing, though, so i do keep my heart rate pretty high while lifting, so who needs cardio, right?

i can’t really think of anything else!  fitness and eating, with work, take up a lot of my life right now!  i’ll leave you with a picture of the baby, because i’m sure everyone would like to see his face versus mine any day.

scout

xoxo

life, lately.

hey guys!  hopefully you remember me!  i would say sorry for not posting so often, but i’m not.  i’m living my life and enjoying every second of it.  i’ll give you a quick recap of how life has been the last couple of weeks!

photo8

30 lbs down!

life with my LAP-BAND has been great, so far!  i have no complaints and my doctor thinks i’m doing very well!  at this point, i’ve lost 34 lbs, and i’m sure plenty of inches (i need to measure myself, soon!).  clothes are getting looser and i don’t feel awful in my skin anymore.  it’s hard to keep perspective, sometimes, since i still have about 95 lbs until my first ‘goal’ weight, but the other day, when i was using 2, 15 lb dumbbells, i realized that was how much i lost so far. i really need to appreciate every pound i lose, as i lose it!

photo10

284 vs 272

i’ve been working out 5 days a week!  i really don’t know who i am anymore!  i had zero motivation to go to the gym for the last year and half or so, but i really have this spark right now and i’m pushing it as far as it will go!  my workouts consist of lifting 5x/week  (arms+shoulders, chest+back, and legs alternating throughout the week) and cardio 3x/week.  i like to keep cardio short and sweet, so i’ve been trying my best to incorporate Body-for-Life HIIT routines in there.  i can feel gains in my strength AND endurance, so it’s a nice feeling.

photo14

my go-to pre-workout

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

barbell chest press

i’ve also been trying to get my 10,000 steps in a day, with my FitBit, but it’s HARD!  i walk a mile at 10am with a co-worker, but even with those steps, on days where i don’t do cardio, i’m only getting 6-7,000 steps.  i need to get better at walking around the office.  i get so busy, sometimes, i’ll only get up twice to use the bathroom and fill up my water!

food intake has been good, as well!  i’m getting my proteins in first, then veggies.  i haven’t been consuming many carbs because 1.  i don’t really have room and 2.  they seem to be a problem with most banders, so i’m holding off on them for awhile.  i’d like to get closer to goal before i start introducing them back into my diet.

photo11

chipotle bowl (just barbacoa, sour cream, cheese & lettuce)

the hardest part of this journey so far, is LISTENING TO MY BODY.  some days i feel SO HUNGRY, and after 4 bites, i feel full.  i want to continue to eat, because i convince myself that there is NO WAY those little bites of food have made me full, but they do!  if i feel hungry at work, i’ll pop in a piece of gum, and if i’m still hungry after 20 minutes, i’ll let myself eat a snack, if i’m not, i’ll continue chewing my gum and drinking my water.  i had my first fill wednesday and know that now it’s more important than ever that i start measuring my food to 1/2 cup portions.  i don’t want to risk stretching my pouch and ruining everything i’ve gone through over the last year because i was being mindless.

photo12

snack: 1/4 cup of mixed nuts

photo13

tuna salad + pork rinds

and yes, i had my first fill!  and it wasn’t that bad! so, i’m a really big baby when it comes to needles.  why i decided to get the weight loss surgery that included needles is beyond me, but i did good!  i went into the hospital and checked-in.  about an hour of waiting later, they were ready for my fill.  my doctor does all fills under fluoroscopy, which is basically just a real-time x-ray.  they insert the needle into the port, remove all the fluid, then insert however many CCs of saline they decide on, depending on how much restriction you need.  this is followed by a barium solution (to show contrast) to see how much restriction there really is.  well, while this was going on, they realized the needle they had inserted had a crack in it, so they had to insert another needle.  after that, everything went fine, and i now have 4.4cc’s in my band.

after a fill, your stomach can swell where the band is attached, so my doctor put me on 2 days of full liquids, 2 days of soft foods, then back to solid food again, being careful to not get anything stuck!  today was day 1 of soft foods and my 1 egg + 1 egg white, which i could only eat 4 bites of, has already kept me full for 2 hours at this point, so i’d like to think i can feel the restriction from the fill.

photo16post fill, liquid phase:  cream of chicken soup mixed + broth + unjury chicken soup protein

photo18

post fill, soft food phase:  scrambled egg w. cheese & ketchup

so, i’m sure i’ve bored you enough by now!  this has been my life, lately.  wake-up, work, workout, cook dinner (& lunch for tomorrow), watch a show or two on tv, then pass out.  i don’t hate it.  i feel great and my attitude has been amazing, so no complaints here 🙂



Q: what have you been up to lately?

 

 

head hunger

hey guys!  happy friday! got any big plans for the weekend? none here.. sadly.

i started my liver shrinking diet yesterday!  but first, i’ll show you my last meal:

photo 154564

mmm sushi.  i ate until i was stuffed, but this place has the BEST sushi in town for a great price.

the point of the liver shrinking diet is to reduce the size of your liver by up to 40% so it is easier to perform the bariatric operation.  in completely non-technical terms, the liver sort of sits on top of your stomach, and to attach the band, they need to lift the liver out of the way.  if the liver is too big, the surgeon can make the executive call to stop the surgery and wait until the liver has shrunk enough.

the diet is a lower carb, low calorie, high protein diet.  the surgeon gave me a list of what is acceptable and not, so this is what i’m currently doing:

  • breakfast:  Ensure high protein shake
  • snack:  diabetic friendly yogurt
  • lunch: Ensure high protein shake
  • snack:  cucumber with 2 T greek yogurt mixed w. ranch seasoning
  • dinner:  4 ounces of lean protein + unlimited veggies

yesterday, since i was at the hospital, i didn’t get very hungry, but i’m feeling the effects today.  as i type this on my lunch break, i’ve had all but the yogurt, and i’m pretty hungry.  i’ve been trying not to think about it, but its happened more than i like.  i know i have a food addiction, and i’m going to have to work on this habit, because after i’m banded, i will need to control myself.  the band wont stop what i’m putting in my mouth.  it will just help me feel fuller, quicker.

so anyway, i had 3 appointments at the hospital yesterday to get ready for surgery may 8th.  first i had the pre-admittance testing which included blood work, an EKG, and a chest xray.  they all went fine and after about an hour and a half, i was finally able to drink some water.  you cant eat or drink anything before the apt, so i was THIRSTY by the time i was done.

photo 364564

next, was the physical with the nurse practitioner.  she was super nice and answered all my questions.  she told me what to expect and all that other jazz.  it was a fairly quick appointment, then i had to wait around for another 2 hours for the next appointment, with the doctor.  that appointment was simply going over the surgery one last time and signing all the consent forms.

all in all, it was a good day, i’m more excited than ever to get to this surgery over and done with and get to the good part.

i think i’m going to start tracking my weight at the end of each post, like highest, current, goal, total lost.  just for myself so see how far i’ve come.

hope you all have a great weekend!!

 

  • highest weight:    303
  • current weight:    295
  • goal weight:        170
  • weight lost:            8

 

i got my date!

guys, apparently i’m only good at posting once a month these days?  life has been SO busy lately!  i’m not complaining, but i’ve barely had a free minute to do anything.  my days lately have been filled with work, family, house projects, enjoying spring, and other fun events with friends.

so on to lap-band stuff (sorry if this is boring for some), after 5 WEEKS of waiting to hear from insurance, i took it upon myself to call the company and found out i was approved for surgery march 23.  i called my doctors office the next week, thinking they would have received that information by that point, to find out they didn’t have anything.  after almost a full day on the phone and playing phone tag with insurance and my surgeon’s office, i got all the answers i needed.

i’m scheduled for surgery may 8th!  i have 2 more full days worth of appointments which include a seminar tomorrow and pre-surgery testing/questions/consent next thursday.  i should learn more about my pre-op, liver shrinking diet at the seminar and should be put on that either this friday or next friday.  i’m not sure if my surgeon requires 2 weeks or 3 weeks of the pre-op diet.

as exciting as all of this is to me, i’m still getting negative feedback from some people.  i received a voicemail from my mom about a week ago, telling me if i adopted a plant based, vegan diet i wouldn’t need “to be cut open”.  i’ve also gotten my fair share of snark comments from co-workers.  this may be the most frustrating aspect of the surgery.  i almost wish i would have kept this process to myself because people can be hurtful, whether they know it or not.   this has been something i’ve thought about since i was 18.  for almost 20 years i’ve had to be mindful of what i put in my mouth, and when i’ve failed at doing that, my weight showed that.  i know i’ve said it before, but i don’t want to be 50 and still waiting to experience life.  as much as i loved costa rica last february, my experience would have been 100x better had i weighed 100 lbs less.

i just need to keep reminding myself that i’m doing this for myself and myself only.  i’m the one that can’t look in the mirror after i get out of the shower, who hates getting dressed in the morning, whose body constantly aches from the excess weight.

i promise i want to get back to updating this blog at least weekly, for no one but myself.  so i can see how far i’ve come and see all the obstacles i faced throughout this journey.  so if you’re still reading, thanks for the support!

ps.  can you just look how little my basset was 3 years ago.  man, as much as i miss that baby face, that first year was a hard one with him!

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remember me?

so, i realize, i’m just not the best blogger ever.  even when i’m on track with eating and exercising,  i just don’t always find it ‘fun’ to update the blog.  hopefully you guys understand that! i see that some people are still hanging around!

last time i left you, i wasn’t doing too much, just living life.  i did go to new york, which is CRAZY at christmas time.  maybe a little too crazy for me, but i had fun regardless!

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other than that, i’ve been trying to eat fairly clean, with the occasional treats thrown in on the weekends.  i’ve been loving a avocado chicken burger recipe i found on pinterest awhile back.  these things are SO GOOD that they don’t even need a bun, which is saying a LOT coming from me!

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i also made some amazing filet and scallops for valentine’s day!  i don’t love getting all into valentine’s day, because i think if you love someone, you should show them you love them all year long, but those are my thoughts, and i wont go any further into it!

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it’s been a CRAZY winter in richmond!  i had all but given up hope that i’d ever see a decent snow fall again, but last week we got 10 inches at my house.  plus, the temperature has been averaging around 10-15*, which is unheard of in these parts, so i’m dreaming of spring weather, and hope that it makes it here soon!

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and, i couldn’t not mention that someone turned 3 yesterday!  yep, i can’t believe i got this guy a little less than three years ago!  he has pushed my limits more times than i can count, but i wouldn’t trade this guy for anything in the world.  i didn’t make him a pupcake this year, but he did get a few spoons of pb and almond butter! happy birthday, scout!

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as far as weight loss goes, i haven’t been restricting my diet and i’ve been at the same weight since the 24 day challenge.  i know to some people, that may not sound great, but for me to actually maintain my weight, is something i’ve never been able to do.  i’m either gaining or losing, so it feels nice to be in control, a little.

i’ve also been going to the gym 3-5 times a week.  i’ve been drinking this pre-workout and its helped me get motivated after a long day of work.  its so easy to just go home, lay on the couch, and binge watch the following (SO GOOD), but if i drink the pre-workout before i leave work, there’s no way i’m going to waste the product/$$, so i end up in the gym and feel SO much better afterwards! plus, if i go home after the gym and mold into the couch, i don’t feel as bad!

lap-band surgery update:  i successfully completed my 12 month coaching program required by insurance yesterday!  i completed the other required appointments, as well, which included:

  • meeting with a psychiatrist
  • meeting with a nutritionist
  • receiving clearance from my PCP
  • H PYLORI testing

i got a phone call from my surgeons office yesterday morning and i’m scheduled for an appointment feb 28.  i’m not exactly sure what will happen in this appointment, but surgery is not set in stone yet, because i still need to receive insurance approval.  so, lets hope all goes well and i get approved quick!

its been a longgg road, but i still know that in my heart, this is what i want for me and my body.  i remember going on my first diet when i was 6 years old, so i’ve been struggling with this issue for 20 years.  20 YEARS. it’s so hard trying to convince someone this is the right thing for me.  i’ve received many snide remarks from co-workers/others, like “i’d rather be fat” or “can’t you just eat less and not get the surgery?”  not that these have ANY impact on my decision, BUT, its one of the main reasons i’ve kept my surgery to myself and the whole internet.  again, i’ve asked before, but if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all, because i really don’t want any more negativity on this issue.

so, i think that’s enough updating for you guys today!  if you stuck around, thanks! and i promise i wont wait so long to post next time.  i want to keep this thing going, i really do.  i haven’t found a ton of blogs with the same issues as mine, so i’m hoping this can help other people.

xoxo

stop negating, start accepting

back on january 1, i quit with the “i’m going to give up diet coke” or “i’m not going to eat a single bite of ice cream”  new years resolutions and decided i wanted to choose something more meaningful.

i, like many other women, am terrible at receiving compliments.  before you can finish giving the compliment, i’ve already started negating it in some way or the other.  just the other day at work, a co-worker complimented me on my weight-loss and i, quickly, told her “well it’s not cause i’ve lost any weight in the last couple days, it’s probably just this shirt i’m wearing”.  why?  why did i feel the need to say that?  she was being genuine (she’s one to call me out on the good and bad, which i like about her) and i was too uncomfortable with myself to simply say “thank you”.

then, yesterday, i read heather’s blog post about the same. exact. thing. and while reading, i realized that others had written about this very same topic, as well.  it’s everywhere.  so why do we feel like we can’t just receive a compliment in today’s society?  i posted a comment on how i’m horrible at accepting compliments and woke up to this reply:

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i couldn’t help but smile, and even after a night of tossing, turning, and awful nightmares/hallucinations, my day had already started out awesome.  so thanks, heather!  i owe my good mood to you, today!

 

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here’s the thing about me, if i think i’m having a good make-up or hair day, i’m quick to throw up a selfie on instagram. it’s a good feeling to receive a compliment on them  (you can call me vein if you want) but i don’t put the pictures out there because i’m fishing for compliments. i know, however, that in THAT moment, i felt really good about myself and i owned it.

some days, i do truly believe i’m a beautiful person, hell, i’ve even recently entered into a contest to be considered as a plus size model.  but some days, i hate every single thing about myself and pick myself apart, and as soon as someone else says something nice, all i want to do is bash myself.

i can honestly say that i love my smile (that never received braces).  i love my eyebrows (that took a few years of tweezing to finally master). i love my eyes (that can change colors from green to hazel to brown, depending on the day).  i love my hair (that is thick and wavy and takes entirely too much time to style, on certain days). I LOVE MYSELF. 

 

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over the years,  i learned to stop focusing on what others think and truly focus on what i think.  i’ve weeded out quite a few friends because i felt like all they did was bring me down and make me feel bad about myself.  i even had to stop visiting my parents as much because all the negativity was too much for me to handle.

so, obviously, i broke my new year’s resolution, although every time i break it, i’m at least conscious of what i’m doing.  hopefully, by next year, i’ll be able to simply say “thank you”.  i’m at a better place today than i was a year ago, and hopefully in the next year, i’ll be in an even better place.  i want to be able to look in the mirror and ALWAYS be happy with what i see.  i want to receive a compliment from someone and ALWAYS mean the thank you that follows.  i want to ALWAYS love ME.  and i’m slowly making the changes in my life that will make all those reality.

thanks for listening. 🙂

 

Q: how are you at receiving a compliment?  if you’re good at it, have you always been like that?