i got my date!

guys, apparently i’m only good at posting once a month these days?  life has been SO busy lately!  i’m not complaining, but i’ve barely had a free minute to do anything.  my days lately have been filled with work, family, house projects, enjoying spring, and other fun events with friends.

so on to lap-band stuff (sorry if this is boring for some), after 5 WEEKS of waiting to hear from insurance, i took it upon myself to call the company and found out i was approved for surgery march 23.  i called my doctors office the next week, thinking they would have received that information by that point, to find out they didn’t have anything.  after almost a full day on the phone and playing phone tag with insurance and my surgeon’s office, i got all the answers i needed.

i’m scheduled for surgery may 8th!  i have 2 more full days worth of appointments which include a seminar tomorrow and pre-surgery testing/questions/consent next thursday.  i should learn more about my pre-op, liver shrinking diet at the seminar and should be put on that either this friday or next friday.  i’m not sure if my surgeon requires 2 weeks or 3 weeks of the pre-op diet.

as exciting as all of this is to me, i’m still getting negative feedback from some people.  i received a voicemail from my mom about a week ago, telling me if i adopted a plant based, vegan diet i wouldn’t need “to be cut open”.  i’ve also gotten my fair share of snark comments from co-workers.  this may be the most frustrating aspect of the surgery.  i almost wish i would have kept this process to myself because people can be hurtful, whether they know it or not.   this has been something i’ve thought about since i was 18.  for almost 20 years i’ve had to be mindful of what i put in my mouth, and when i’ve failed at doing that, my weight showed that.  i know i’ve said it before, but i don’t want to be 50 and still waiting to experience life.  as much as i loved costa rica last february, my experience would have been 100x better had i weighed 100 lbs less.

i just need to keep reminding myself that i’m doing this for myself and myself only.  i’m the one that can’t look in the mirror after i get out of the shower, who hates getting dressed in the morning, whose body constantly aches from the excess weight.

i promise i want to get back to updating this blog at least weekly, for no one but myself.  so i can see how far i’ve come and see all the obstacles i faced throughout this journey.  so if you’re still reading, thanks for the support!

ps.  can you just look how little my basset was 3 years ago.  man, as much as i miss that baby face, that first year was a hard one with him!

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change of plans

hey guys! happy wednesday. i officially hate the term ‘hump day’ because the guy at the front desk of my gym repeats the geico commercial word for word EVERY WEDNESDAY i walk into the gym, usually at 5:00am when i have no patience for anyone.  so, needless to say, i no longer enjoy referring to wednesday as hump day. moving on..

this post will probably be mostly words and i apologize for that in advance.

i had my appointment with the surgeon at St. Mary’s hospital at 11:30 friday morning.  i got to the office early, filled out my paperwork and waited until the doctor was ready.  when i was finally called back, they took my weight, blood pressure, temp, etc and then, i was finally placed in the examining room.  the nurse asked what surgery i was considering, and she noted it on my chart.

*i will clarify that when i first saw the nurse practitioner last january, the only surgery we discussed was the lap-band, because that’s the only surgery i was comfortable with.  its the least invasive of the 3, and the one i felt most i could do the best with.*

the doctor walked in and wasn’t even sitting down before he told me that i wasn’t a good candidate for the lap-band.  stating my BMI was WAY TO HIGH to be considered.  he would only give the lap-band to a patient with a BMI of 45 and lower.  NEWS FLASH, doc, my BMI is 46 and i’m only 7 pounds away from 44.9, so you’re being a bit dramatic.  he went on to say, i would only lose 30 pounds, but i’d never be successful like sleeve and gastric bypass patients.  after he was done telling me how bad i was going to fail with the lap-band, he refused to treat me and referred me to his colleague, Dr. Carmody, who i could meet with at 3:00pm that afternoon.

after feeling so defeated, i left the office crying and second guessing everything i was so sure of for the past 13 months.  i KNEW this was the right surgery for me.  i didn’t want 3/4 of my stomach to be removed.  i didn’t want to constantly worry about malnutrition or if i didn’t get the right vitamins in, worry about losing my hair.  then i thought, maybe this guy IS right.  maybe i’m too fat for the lap-band.  maybe the sleeve is the only thing that will help me lose this 130 pounds i want to lose.  maybe i’m being naïve in my decision and should just go ahead and get the sleeve.

by the time i got back to the doctor, i wasn’t sure what i want at this point.  i was scared, nervous, and confused.  when i finally got called back, 50 minutes later, i wasn’t sure what this doctor was going to tell me.  luckily, it was everything i NEEDED to hear.  after a few minutes of talking to me about my past diet attempts and current eating habits, he thought i was a perfect fit for the lap-band.  he said with me being young, active, and a generally clean eater, i would be very successful with the band.  it was like i could finally breath again, and hearing that someone believed in me was the boost i needed.  i should get a surgery date within the next 2 weeks, where i’ll be put on a pre-op diet consisting of not that much.

i’m SO HAPPY the first doctor turned out to be a dick, because i really feel like my current doctor is the perfect fit.  i do understand where the other doctor was coming from, even though i don’t agree with it.  lap-band patients tend to lose less weight at a slower pace than sleeve and bypass patients do.  these numbers reflect poorly on the surgeon and drop his stats.  aftercare cost and time (because of fills) is also a burden on the surgeon has to deal with.  not that i think any surgery is an easy decision or the ‘easy way out’, but i think it takes a little more work throughout the whole process to get good result with lap-band.  just my opinion though.

im using the band as a tool.  i don’t mind working out and i actually love eating clean (with the occasional splurge out to eat), but even with all i did this year to change my diet and exercise, it still wasn’t enough.  i don’t want to feel like the only way i can lose weight is by not eating carbs.  i want to be able to take a bite of bread, but have that be enough to satisfy me.

i’m going to make this work.. and i cant wait to see how far i take it!  then, i can shove my weight loss in the other surgeons face and say F YOU.

that’s enough words for the day.  i hope you all have a great day!